Do you need a personal relationships policy?
It can sometimes feel like there are a million workplace policies, so do you really need another? What happens if you don’t have one in place?
Policies are designed to create a safe, fair, and consistent working environment. They provide clear guidelines and expectations for how employees should conduct themselves at work. So, is it necessary to have a policy around personal relationships?
We spend a significant amount of time with our colleagues, often more than with our families and partners. It’s natural that close relationships may develop, and we want our teams to get along. A harmonious working environment makes life easier for everyone. But what happens when things get complicated?
Where it can go wrong.
Let’s say you manage a team and become particularly close friends with one member. You socialise outside work, follow each other on social media, and attend parties where you may, let’s say, enthusiastically dance to ABBA. Now, imagine having to make that person redundant or manage their underperformance. The personal connection makes those decisions much harder.
Even if your friend has done a great job and deserves a pay rise, could your judgment be clouded by your relationship or what you know about their personal circumstances? Even if you're completely impartial, other team members may still perceive bias. If your friend receives a bigger bonus or pay increase, it might be seen as favoritism.
This perceived unfairness can lead to a toxic culture. Colleagues may feel they can’t speak up about underperformance or misconduct involving your friend, believing they’re untouchable due to your relationship.
What about romantic relationships?
It’s not just friendships, romantic relationships at work bring even more complexity. While what employees do outside of work is largely their business, personal life and work life often overlap.
If a romantic relationship exists where there’s a power imbalance (e.g. manager and direct report), this can lead to concerns over favoritism, biased decisions and lack of transparency. Worse still, if the relationship ends, there’s potential for claims of harassment, bullying, or unfair treatment such as exclusion from promotion or restructures.
There’s also reputational risk. Office affairs may become workplace scandals, damaging morale or even careers, as we've seen in recent high-profile cases. While most won’t make the headlines, the internal fallout can still be significant.
What can a policy do?
A policy won’t prevent office relationships, but it can provide structure to manage them fairly.
If you decide to implement one, it should include:
- A requirement to declare close personal or romantic relationships, especially where a conflict of interest exists.
- Provisions for additional oversight—e.g. removing line management responsibilities or requiring sign-off by another manager for decisions on pay or promotion.
- Disciplinary procedures if impropriety occurs or relationships are not disclosed.
Smaller businesses may not need a separate policy. These guidelines can be included in a broader conflict of interest policy instead.
Conclusion.
Clear boundaries and transparency around personal relationships at work help maintain fairness and protect your business when things don’t go as planned. Even if you don’t think it’s needed right now, it’s far better to be proactive than reactive.
